When someone gives you a compliment, how do you respond? Do you self-deprecate, do you disregard, or do you simply say thank you? Is it difficult for you to believe or accept their words? Sometimes it can be challenging for us to accept acts and words of love. This could be a result of past traumas, and we have learned to protect ourselves from hurt or toxicity.
We must believe we are worthy of the love of others in whatever form that may take. This belief can be achieved with real, tangible steps.
Consider creating a mantra to repeat to yourself as many times as necessary, such as: “I am worthy of love.” “I do not have to earn love.” “I am loveable!” Simple and easy to memorize, these mantras can silence the negative critic telling you the exact opposite.
You may also actively practice vulnerability. Say, “Thank you, I appreciate that!” when receiving compliments. Then take a moment, repeat your mantra and smile. You were given a gift of love. Graciously accept the acts of service others bestow on you such as bringing you dinner, watching your baby while you nap, helping you with yardwork, or even something small like offering you a cup of tea. Say, “Yes, thank you!” Allow those gifts of kindness to enter your world.
Another strategy is to change your perspective. Appreciate these acts and words as gifts. View these people offering the gifts as precious blessings who love you. As we show compassion, patience and good will for them, let them also shower these gifts on you.
Let yourself lean into the discomfort of these steps! Acceptance may feel awkward and even “fake.” Perhaps at first, you do not truly believe you are worthy. Let this feeling sit for a minute, but then allow it to pass. Once it does, you may feel connection, warmth, peace, and true love in every sense. You feel like this only when you allow yourself to be vulnerable.
This will take time. You will learn to trust the people in your community, as they will be consistent with their gifts. They will show up to support you, provide comfort when you most need it, and earn your trust. This is where true friendship, partnership and love can be found; in the vulnerability of your heart once you allow it to open.