What is True Belonging?
Many of us go through life seeking meaning in relationships. We seek to be understood, to be accepted, to be seen for who we are without judgement. We seek love. Often, this pursuit can seem daunting as we experience situations and relationships that fall short of this ideal. True belonging is something that most of us yearn for in our families, our significant relationships, our friendships, and in our community. Simply, it is a sense that we belong. It is a sense that we are accepted and valued as we are. It is a sense that those around us are truly interested in who we are. True belonging is permission to be transparent with another about who we are beyond pretense. True belonging involves a deep-down sense that those that are offering this belonging truly understand the nature of who we are.
From childhood to adolescence, and into adulthood we seek this state of belonging. Often, it may feel like panning for gold as we sift through the sand of relationships which do not deliver this prized state of being. Some relationships become “fool’s gold” replicas that initially seem to promise the real thing and fall far short. When we experience true belonging in a relationship, we know it. We feel joy in the sense of experiencing unconditional love and a positive regard which reassures us at the core. Unfortunately, like water in the desert, many of us spend a lifetime seeking this precious resource only to find a remnant here or there that keep us moving forward in the search.